


a world too big for me

by edriss



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Hogwarts Founders Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:16:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27170282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edriss/pseuds/edriss
Summary: Only one thing in Hogwarts interests Helena.
Kudos: 4





	a world too big for me

It was only a formality, of course, but Helena still stood in front of the four Hogwarts founders in the Great Hall and answered their questions. She was honest and polite and the deliberation was short. The founders turned back towards her and delivered their verdicts. 

Godric Gryffindor smiled a slow smile and declared, "Ravenclaw House."

Helga Hufflepuff clasped her hands together on the table and front of her and said, "You cherish education and intelligence. You will do your mother proud in the house of your namesake - Ravenclaw."

Rowena Ravenclaw nodded and simply said, "Ravenclaw, of course."

Salazar Slytherin leaned forward and the sleeves of his black robes slid across the table. "You value intelligence only so much as how far it gets you in this world. You would do much better in my house, young lady. Slytherin."

The three others quickly turned to look at him. Rowena pressed her lips together into a thin line and her eyes narrowed dangerously.

Helga cleared her throat. "Well anyway, Salazar, you have been outvoted. Young Helena will study under her mother in Ravenclaw House." The blond turned her attention back towards Helena. "You may go."

Helena turned and walked the long walk out of the Great Hall. When she reached the entrance doors, she turned back to regard the four founders, the four most powerful and intelligent wizards the world had ever seen, four people she grew up knowing well. She saw Salazar's dangerous smile slide back onto his face.

She was eleven years old.

\---

Helena was only a baby when her mother helped erect the tower that would house the students she taught. She was nearly eight when the four who created Hogwarts hired a fifth teacher to help with the mass of students. She was nine when the first Muggleborn graduated. She was ten and a half when arguments began over who should be admitted. And she was sorted at age eleven into her mother's house. Helena always felt out of place.

\---

The others constantly cooed over her mother - praising her intelligence and her beauty and (Helena knew it) comparing the two Ravenclaws. She never measured up.

\---

Every other student went home for the summer. She heard the excitement as her roommate told of the family trip they would take to Scotland. She heard the bitter sorrow as a sixth year said goodbye to his girlfriend. She watched the students pile out of the school and head to whatever it was that would take them home. Helena retreated back to her room in the tower. Now empty, it felt far lonelier than she imagined possible. She laid down on her bed, hair strewn across the pillows and closed her eyes. She briefly wondered where her mother was but realized she was probably seeing her students off. The students of Professor Ravenclaw held a special place in her mother's heart and, bitterly, Helena pressed her lips into a thin line.

\---

Of her mother's closest friends, Salazar was the most remote, the most intriguing. She remembered the disapproving look on his face when her worn out mother presented her as a baby. Of course Helena could not possibly remember anything as a baby but it was so easy for her to close her eyes and see Salazar's short face, his prominent lips protruding through his black beard, pursed in displeasure. 

\---

It was days before the start of her second year when Helena found him in the dungeons. She was tracing the halls, savoring the silence and the sound of her own echo that bounced off the stone before the castle was filled with students. 

"Professor," she nearly whispered, coming up beside him. He was still so foreign to her and someone not to be trifled with. He looked down at her and Helena impulsively grabbed the curly strands of hair that touched her shoulders. "I was just wondering..." she trailed off, waiting for him to prompt her to continue but he remained silent. Still, he did not leave nor did he glance away and Helena took that as encouragement. "Why do you hate Muggle-borns so much?"

Salazar's face grew stern. "You should not ask what you know little about, young Helena," he responded. Something his voice was harsh and endearing at the same time. He lifted his fingers to the young girl's chin and bent closer to her face. "You would still do better with me." 

Hours later when Helena sat for dinner with her mother, she could still feel his icy fingers on her skin.

\---

In her third year, Hogwarts had grown so much that more teachers had been hired and each house namesake was teaching not only his or her own students, but those from other houses as well. Salazar taught about dueling and curses to all the third years. Helena sat among the other Ravenclaw students, quiet and observant. The other students packed their bags and left but she meandered. Placing a stopper on her ink bottle, she looked up and found Salazar sitting at his desk, head resting on his folded hands. Helena opened her mouth to speak but he beat her to it.

"Perhaps you could use a little extra help with my classes."

Helena was sure this is a statement and not a question. His eyes were hard and she remembered his cold fingers on her face. She nodded and left in silence.

\---

It was silent for the most part, in Salazar's dungeon, except for the sounds of Helena's quill on parchment and Salazar's deep breathing. She tied her curls back and bent dutifully over her parchment and books. He folded his hands patiently in front of him on the desk. Gaining courage, Helena stole a glance at her professor and, sometimes, even asked a question. Salazar responded the same each time: a curt answer if needed, a hard look, and the same statement, "You are here to learn, young Helena, not to pry into my personal life."

She flushed red and buried herself back in her books.

\---

Rowena was outraged and nearly brought the castle down on Salazar when she found out about her daughter's extra help sessions. The rumor was that Helga had to literally hold Rowena back. Helena heard whispers in the halls. Salazar touched her shoulder lightly and spoke into her ear, "Your mother is concerned about your schoolwork. I told her not to worry."

\---

Over the summer, Rowena took Helena on vacation to Spain. She celebrated her fourteenth birthday by kissing a Spanish Muggle. His skin was smooth and warm against hers. His hand slid up the Muggle skirt she wore, fingers splaying over her thigh. Helena sighed and pulled away. The air pressed in around her, sweet and sticky with summer heat. He tasted liked a Muggle, she thought, ignorant and boring and she wanted nothing more than to run back to her room at Hogwarts.

\---

"I met a Muggle," she ventured, still looking down at her book. She didn't dare look up from her desk. "When Mum and I went on vacation." She paused. "I didn't like him very much."

Salazar stroked his beard, which had grown longer while she had been away, before finally saying, "We are here to study tonight."

\---

When she was sixteen, Salazar's beard was streaked with gray and he had a huge fight with the other four founders by the lake. Helena heard the yelling from her bedroom. She heard the doors slam and the feet pound through the great hall. She ventured into the hallway and hustled down the stairs in time to see his black cape swoosh out of sight and Godric set his mouth into a hard line. 

"We can't have this," Godric sighed. The others nodded in agreement. Helena's heart caught in her throat and an icy chill run down her spine. 

\---

"We will stop our private sessions, Helena," he told her. She noticed he dropped his favorite adjective and that was almost enough to make her smile. Then she remembered what this will mean.

"You can't leave," she said boldly, surprising them both. "The school needs you."

His eyes clouded, closing her off but his hand still drifted to her chin comfortingly. "I will always be a part of this school."

She shivered.

\---

He asked her to stay late after class on the night he would leave. Helena didn't know that at the time, of course. It was early December and the winter holiday was to start in the next week. Salazar locked the dungeon door as Helena took her seat.

"We are not studying tonight," he told her, as if she had upset him in some way.

"What did you want, then, Professor?"

"Come here," he instructed. Helena crossed the room and stood shyly beside him. Salazar grabbed her wrist roughly and she saw his eyes darken as the candlelight flickered over the both of them. "I have left something in this castle. Something to prolong my legacy. Only my true heir will be able to find it."

Helena, scared, tried to pull her arm free but he just held on tighter. 

"I have to leave, Helena. It is not safe for me here." He pulled at her arm and Helena stumbled a little. "Find me, young Helena." Here he kissed her, his lips were icy like the feeling in the pit of her stomach and his long beard itched her throat and cheeks. It was so very different from the Muggle boy she kissed two years previously. It was as if they were sealing a pact that she did not understand. 

And then his hand gripped her arm so tight she knew it would bruise. He pulled her close and Helena's small body pressed into his and she opened her mouth to him, the kiss still cold like his fingers but gentler than his fingers around her bicep. She was aware of the way his beard scratched at the front of her robes and the odd angle her body was bent at. But Salazar reached his free hand to her face and cupped her chin like she was a child as he released her. 

"Together we will bring the wizarding world to their knees."

**Author's Note:**

> written as a holiday gift over at ~hogwartsishome


End file.
